home alone on the eve of the eve.

"Ah, how good it feels! The hand of an old friend." - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

mom: asia i'll see you tomorrow mkay?
oh how together my family is at this time of year -__- i usually end up waiting for the holidays to be over since i don't have any family parties or gatherings to attend. i just sit at home on xmas with my immediate family. laame. i really hope i find somewhere to go on new year's. i want to bring in 09 with a bang. 08 was a blur of mistakes and sunshine and darkness, but we'll save that for a later blog. so last night i had a little blast from the past. a talk with someone who used to be a big part of my life. then choices were made, and he wasn't in it at all. i guess i'm scared to dive into it again. or am i just not naive enough to think he's totally made a 180 from before? idk, i don't think i'm ready to be hurt that much by a friend again. don't you hate when a friendship you take so deeply to heart is taken so lightly by the other party involved? a big reason why i stay isolated these days. i only open up to my bests, and with pretty much everyone else i keep my distance. i refuse to be naive. or maybe i'm just being a pessimist. who knows. i'm not hoping my best will stay away, but i'm pretty sure i won't restrain my i told you so.

ps. turn back the hands of time?